
Alex reading stories submitted by gay Scouts at Wednesday's press conference. Credit: GLAAD.
The entire Scouting family awaits today’s decision by the Boy Scouts of America National Council on whether openly gay Scout youth will be accepted in the program. Many people have had the privilege to speak out about their experiences. Yet, there are many whose voices have been silenced by the current policy. These gay and bisexual Scouts submitted their stories to us. We shared some in our press conference yesterday and are posting passages from these stories below. These young people’s lives, experiences and thoughts deserve to be a part of this debate. We only wish they could have had the opportunity to speak without fear and without the need for anonymity.
The following is from a 15 year old gay scout in Florida…
After my mom died, I struggled with a lot of pain, hurt and loss in my life but I had the scouts. I have friends, leaders and a home in the scouts. I know the scout oath by heart and I try to live by it every day. I listen and I learn, but then I show and I teach also. I believe in the Boy Scouts and in my country, but I am gay, and no one but my family and friends believes in me. I’m the same person I was before anybody knew I am gay. I haven’t changed. The only difference from before is how Scouting views me. You closed your eyes to who I am and all I can be. Shame on Scouting for seeing with its eyes and not its heart.
The following is from a gay scout in New York, who lost an important role model in his life…
Our council removed our beloved scoutmaster of over a decade when they heard he was getting married—to a man. Both wonderful people. was a mentor, the man you want to be when you grow up. He had taught me how to tie my shoes. He had taught me right from wrong better than my father did. When I didn’t respect anyone, I listened to Rob. He cared when others didn’t, then he was ripped away. He taught me how to tie my shoes. My friends, fellow scouts and scout leaders, who could I trust? I couldn’t trust anyone.
The following is former gay Eagle Scout and camp staff member in North Carolina…
I was an Area Director for scout camp, I served at there for several years without conflict until it was known that I am friends with known homosexuals. A target was painted on my back and there were several attempts to fire me based on my non-scouting friends, and then on the fact that I wasn’t cliquish, that was willing to be a friend to anyone, popular or misfit, staffer or camper. I did more than pay my knowledge forward and after I was outed for one of my sisters’ senior projects about gays in scouting, I couldn’t return to something that I loved.
The following is from a gay Eagle Scout from Oregon…
The Ban on Gay Scouting has made me feel like I can’t be true to myself and to others by respectfully saying that, “yes, I’m gay and in scouts,” while in the program. Keeping it a secret from a lot of people within the program, I feel like it can contribute to a persons low self-esteem, and I feel like that happened to me early on in my scouting career and realizing that I was gay, up until recent years of being in college. If the policy doesn’t change include EVERYONE, I feel like the self-esteem of LGBT scouts will continue to suffer greatly.
The following is from a gay Eagle Scout and National Leader in the Order of the Arrow…
The thought of receiving a letter from the national office, or a phone call from my local Scout executive, informing me that I was no longer welcome in Scouting pained me to my core. Several Scouts who have been removed from the BSA because of their sexuality have told me about the anguish they felt when their membership was revoked. They felt betrayed, depressed and lonely. In an instant, their many years of service were deemed meaningless in the eyes of the BSA. Their Scouting friendships halted. I lacked the courage to endure the humiliation that accompanies being removed from Scouting. So, I decided not to renew my membership, and I feel like a coward for doing so.
The following is from a 17 year old Eagle Scout from Minnesota…
Every time I accepted an opportunity to further serve Scouting, I made the conscious decision to misrepresent who I was in order to remain involved. I, like many others, chose to sacrifice my personal life so that I could have a hand in building a better Scouting for current and future Scouts. For me, electing to remain active was also a decision to live in fear. Because I was paranoid that my secret would be revealed, I took extreme measures to minimize the likelihood that Scouting members would believe that I was anything other than a heterosexual young adult. This included a ridiculous level of social media privacy setting changes. While these measures may seem silly, gay Scouting friends of mine have been removed because Scouters reported them for information found on their social media profiles that suggested or stated that they were gay.
The following is from a gay, Catholic Eagle Scout from Illinois…
I am fearful that I will loose something that I have loved my whole life just because of who I love. I’m fearful of not being able to do fun activities like Jamborees, summer camps, and even just OA fellowship campouts. I am required to be trustworthy, but I can’t because of this ban. This also means the BSA is violating their own Law by forcing us not to be true to ourselves. I hate lying to others and myself, it doesn’t right at all, but I have to if I want to remain a Scout. I wish the BSA would realize how this ban has affected us, the quiet gay scouts who suffer in a world, where we hear anti-gay slurs throw around at school everyday. We can’t be true to ourselves because we feel like society won’t accept us and love us for who we are.
The following is from a gay Eagle Scout from Wisconsin…
The ban on openly gay scouts has completely controlled whom I come out to, where and when I do it. It’s controlled my sense of security: Instilled fear in my heart, as I wondered countless times, “Will today be the day? Is this the time I get kicked out?” Luckily for me, that never happened. I had friends who could keep my secret, mentors I could confide in. For other scouts without this option, the fear and anxiety must be truly unbearable. Discrimination hurts, mentally, emotionally, it degrades you and your spirit, forces you to lie and twist truth. It’s a violation of all things decent and a disrespect to my dignity as a human being. The day this ban is lifted, will be the happiest of my life.
The following is from a gay scout in Alabama…
I had been out at school for many months at that point and I thought that I would be fine hopping back in the closet for a long weekend. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I found myself needing to censor my speech all the time. I had to deny and hide the part of my life that I had finally embraced and expressed. As other scouts were talking about the girls they liked or their girlfriends I stayed quiet again. This was routine for me but the pain was worse than it had been before because I had finally experienced talking about people that I liked. I sat there and listened as some of the scouts I consider close friends talked about homosexuals as being unnatural and that homosexuality is a choice. I sat there screaming inside my head because I couldn’t tell them who I was and share my story.
The following is from a gay Section Chief in the Order of the Arrow…
I am not fortunate enough to be a good actor, so I have become a “party pooper” and not able to participate in conversations that occur about girls because I don’t have anything to contribute. I tell those people conversing that talking about girls at a scouting event is not appropriate, which gets me made fun of. I get asked if I am gay now and again, and to lie to them is against the scout law, but to tell them the truth is against policy, so I resort to saying nothing and changing the subject, which usually makes them believe I am gay. All of this added pressure and things to think about makes a teenager’s life more difficult. I noticed that since I came out to myself, I have been in more of a sour and sometimes depressed mood because I cannot be myself. I cannot go on dates like a normal teenager. I cannot talk to my friends about my day and life.